Since text messaging is a relatively new phenomenon, most guys have never been taught the secrets to texting girls. Because of this, many guys completely blow it when it comes to texting a girl.
A lot of guys assume that the reason a woman loses interest after an initial meetup is because she didn’t like him. But often the case is that he did not keep the woman interested over text messaging. Texting girls is a skill that anyone can learn. But like all skills, it takes knowledge, application, and refinement.
Now in order to figure out what kind of text messages attract a woman and keep her interested, you must first understand what text messaging should be used for.
3 Purposes for Texting Girls
Generally, you are going to be texting a girl for one three reasons:
- You are trying to make an initial contact after getting her phone number.
- You just want to keep yourself in her mind until the next time you see her.
- You are to use text messaging to escalate your relationship with her to a more flirtatious or sexual level.
Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Texting a Girl
Before we get into some of the skills you’re going to need to learn when texting girls, I want to talk about some of the big mistakes men make.
If you can overcome these mistakes, it will be a lot easier for you have success texting girls.
Big Mistake #1: Sending a boring text that serves no purpose. Texts like these include; “How’s it going?” or “What’s up?” Text messages like these DO NOT differentiate you from the dozens of other men that are also texting your girl.
Big Mistake #2: The second big mistake is texting a girl too often. Text messages should be used sparingly in order to create intrigue, suspense, and arousal. If you are texting girls all the time, they will no longer look forward to your text messages.
Big Mistake #3: The final mistake men make is they attempt to have a conversation over text message. Texting is not the way to get to know a girl.
Some other big mistakes texting girls:
- Always responding too quickly and seeming over eager
- Trying too hard to get her approval
- Letting the woman control the flow of texting (ie. She always ends the back and forth flow)
- Not getting “flirty” enough in your text messages
Flirting over text message
Every text message you send should have some elements of flirtatiousness. You should not send a text that doesn’t at least demonstrate a fun side of your personality.
During the first few text messages you are just trying to demonstrate that you know how to have fun and be social around women. Your text messages should always give off the impression that you live a fun and exciting life.
Keep it light and fun, then jump into serious stuff, and then back to being light and fun.
The idea is to banter back and forth and leave the interaction on a high note, by either not responding back, or by ending it with a text like “see you later…”
It is also important to express bits and pieces of your personality in these texts, and avoid being boring at all costs.
This means you avoid saying things like “I’m bored,” or if she ask what you’re doing answering “Nothing really.”
Instead answer by being interesting, mysterious, and challenging. (here’s another good article about texting girls)
Three Rules to Text Flirting
1. Every Text Should Give Value, Never Take It
Look in your cell phone ‘sent’ texts and see how many times you texted a girl a message like “what you doing?” or “How’s it going?”
Now delete those messages, and promise yourself from now on when your texting girls you will never send these boring messages.
These messages do nothing to display any of your personality, and they completely put the woman on the spot to keep the interaction going. You’re giving her control.
And since a hot woman is probably getting dozens of these messages from different men every day… they begin to annoy her.
Every text message you send should provide some value to the woman receiving it. It should also include elements of your unique personality.
A much more flirtatious text to send a woman would be something like ” Stop thinking about me!:)” or “You just popped in my head and I just wanted to say hi”
These messages don’t put the burden of response on her…. But they make her want to respond to your texts.
Remember, every text should give value.
2. Keep it Short, Fun and Playful when texting a girl
Texting girls is not the time to really try to get to know someone.
Instead, think of it is an chance to give a woman a “sneak preview” version of what you’re like as man.
Give her a “movie trailer” version of your personality, humor, and playfulness.
And flirt, damn it.
When you’re texting a girl use the same flirty attitude you would in person. This means tease, neg her, and get her laughing. Make her smile. Make her look forward to getting a text from you.
If you’ve just met a girl out a bar and you plan on sending her a text the next day… avoid messages like “Hey, it’s Bobby, it was cool meeting you the other night. What are you doing?”
Instead, start the interaction off with something flirty and fun, that gives her a “movie trailer” sneak peak of your personality.
So a much better message for texting a girl would be “Do you speak text?” (credit Sinn) Or “Is it too soon for casual text? I mean, I just met you. Maybe we should wait!”
Can you see how much more interesting and fun it would be for her to get one of those texts?
3. Amplify Tension and Suspense when texting girls
Have you ever texted a girl and she didn’t text you back for a couple hours?
What did you think about during that time you were waiting for her to respond back?
You were probably thinking about HER.
You must, at times, build suspense when texting girls. It creates the roller coaster effect in your messages. You want to be unpredictable, sometimes vague, and leave her wondering.
So if you normally message a girl back a few minutes after she texts you… every fourth time wait twenty to sixty minutes to text her back. On occasion wait till the next day.
This gives her time to think about you in her mind. It lets her experience the thrill of waiting for your next message. This is one of the most important things to remember when texting a girl.
What to Text Girls?
During your first couple of texts you’re not looking to set up a meeting. Like I said earlier, you are just looking to show her that you’re a flirty and playful guy. So you’re first few texts should be sent to show this aspect of your personality… and also, to see if she is someone that you have any sort of connection with.
Remember, the purpose of texting a girl is to flirt, create a little connection, and get the girl thinking about you.
You want to make her feel like she is missing out by not being with you… and don’t answer every question they ask. Keep your texts short as possible, sometimes vague, but filled with personality. For instance, if you’re just texting to keep in touch with a woman you could text something like:
“I just got the most fly pair of jeans ever for $12. I’m pumped”
And another important thing to do is to assume rapport. This means that you jump right into texting girls without explaining every aspect of your life.
“My puppy is ridiculous”
So if you’re texting a girl for the first time you can message something like:
“Hey what’s up dork?”
Texting Girls Game Plan
Obviously there is so much more to cover about texting a girl that I can cover in one article. However, I do recommend watching this 3 texts to get her out video.
It also provides you with a clear breakdown of how to respond to various text messages that she might send. And witty banter lines that you can use for texting girls.
Text game really is quickly becoming one of the more important things to learn in terms of keeping in touch with a woman. If you’re unsure of what you should texting girls, I would watch this video now.
Next Article: 5 Awesome Texts to Send Girls (Steal These)