In the game of love, everyone is rejected at some point.
Of course, knowing exactly why you’ve been turned down isn’t always clear and if you don’t know what you did wrong, how can you improve your chances?
Luckily, you aren’t the first man to be turned down.
As long as men have been chasing women, they’ve been being turned down.
Why? For starters, the way a man presents himself is key to attracting a woman’s attention, and it’s something most men overlook.
Most men think that the clothes they wear or how much money they have is what is primarily going to attract women, but it is actually much simpler than that. You are not the problem; the way you present yourself is.
You can improve your odds in the dating game and finally feel like you know what you’re doing by simply addressing the most common mistakes.
1. Understanding Body Language
While it’s true that confidence is something women find sexy, it takes more than boasting and flirting to portray that you are comfortable in yourself. Body language is key. You want to show your prospective date that you feel good in your own skin and feel in control of the situation. Stand up straight and make eye contact. Humans communicate primarily through body language; your words will mean next to nothing if you present yourself in an alluring way. But remember: Women can often tell if you are actually confident in yourself or just faking. Work on your self esteem and approach women with an air of ease for best results.
2. Matching Energy and Atmosphere
Society tells us that a man should be solemn and serious, a grounding, powerful force, but women want someone they can connect with. Before asking a woman out, gauge her energy levels and the general atmosphere of the people around her. A woman is going to want you to meet her on her level: Be charming and attentive but always note her reactions so you can adjust your approach. Make it hard for her to turn you down by engaging her and showing her that you can understand her body language and meet her needs and wants.
3. Choosing Positive Body Language
Here we go again with the body language. Yes, it’s really that important. Dating and flirting are just evolution’s way of helping two people determine if they are right for each other. Those basic instincts from hundreds of thousands of years ago are still alive in us. Facing a woman head on will make her feel confronted and uncomfortable. A successful man makes a woman see he is powerful enough to keep her safe and gentle enough to protect her. Practice embodying confidence without aggressiveness.
4. Walking the Thin Line Between Too Much and Too Little
Since being socially appropriate is always a must in dating situations, knowing just how confident and assertive to be is a conundrum for many men. Being loud and obnoxious won’t gain you the attention you seek and neither will sneaking into their social circle and waiting for her to notice you. There’s a balance between these extremes. Harness your true confidence, address her with interest but don’t be overbearing. You want to appear highly interested, not obsessed or desperate.
5. Committing to Your Mission
You will not get a yes from your prospective date if you have decided ahead of time that she will never say yes. You will also not get a yes from her if you walk into the situation eager to get out of it. If you really want to go out with this lady, you’re going to, at some point, spend time with her. Go into the situation with the mindset of wanting to know more about her and asking her out if things go well. Harness your confidence, remind yourself that the way you portray yourself is key, and be prepared to stay in the interaction until it has come to its natural conclusion. Don’t run away. Whether she answers yes or no, sprinting away from her to hide behind the nearest curtain isn’t going to comfort her about her decision to say yes or inspire her to change her answer from no. If you have gotten rejected a lot in the past, it’s likely you are trying to exact same approach over and over and expecting different results. Change it up a little. Try something new. Think about what your body language is communicating about yourself and the way your prospective date’s body language is asking you to connect with her. Stick with your original mission. Stay confident. And remember: You are an eligible bachelor; it’s the way that you present yourself that turns women away.
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